when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
