You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
