I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She is in my trunk
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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