now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
