apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
