Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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