I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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