Can i not drive my cunt home
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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