I need help removing her.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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