He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
