Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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