Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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