He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
