you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
