you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
