But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
