dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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