also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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