im drinking this country out of the recession.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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