How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
