Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
