to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This house was built for laser tag.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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