The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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