Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
