32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
