i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
BRING THE BAGELS
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
