first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
