i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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