is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
