Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
