this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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