Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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