i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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