I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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