I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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