Acid is not a monday night drug
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
