What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
