dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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