from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
They are going to name an STD after you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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