sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wanna go halves on a baby?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
