found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
