I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she smelled like a LAN party
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
