Umm I'm too high to move.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
