i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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