Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
