so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
