Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize