She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
