I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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