dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
