singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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