well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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