one might say we're banned from that church
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
