Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize