there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
