Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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