Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
