dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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