Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
