Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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