I think my fart just growled at me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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