I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We got so high we made milksteak
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize