I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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