the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
