My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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